So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
