I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
