Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
