I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
