Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
