How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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