For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
