Its about making memories worth repressing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
