I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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