Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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