exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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