I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
