I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
