covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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