I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
