And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize