remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
