i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
