Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize