So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
