i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
