Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
