We're like a lot better than the average bears
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
