No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
