Bisexual people are plain selfish.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
