If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Still dying that you shit outside
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
