Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
