office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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