: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize