he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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