So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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