It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize