There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
