Got a toothbrush?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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