My pussy is not your playground.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
