Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
