our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
