She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
