we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
