Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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