Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
