wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
