I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
