I hate your face
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize