Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
