high people should be assigned attendants
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
