just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
