There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize