Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
