Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
