I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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