I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
