Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
