Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
