What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
