Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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