If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
