I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Randomize
