I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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