What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
