idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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