it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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