Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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