shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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